N.

wish we could sing all the songs in chorus.

messagesbysomebody:

Yeah. My feelings for you have definitely gone away. I don’t know whether It was a epiphany type thing or just the sudden change in certain hormones. Either way, I am definitely over the fact that I can’t have you. It’s not that I realized I could do much better, because you are an amazing guy, its just there are more options out there than I thought. And I figured why waste my feelings on a person who doesn’t want them, and give them to someone else. Someone that honestly deserves them. You are a great guy, wish you the best…i think its going to be cool between us two again.

I underestimated you
Over stepped my boundaries
Thinking nothing of it
But i was blind to all the casualties
Of every fire we started babe
Its bad to say theres still a spark
because its wrong to feel this way
When he’s standing there with a broken heart

You know just who he is
You know him all too well
The boy that broke my heart
And lead me to your bed
You couldn’t keep a secret
And I couldn’t carry a lie
What we have is over
Because he changed his mind

A change of heart
Is going to spread us apart
Why does he always get what he wants
Why aren’t you fighting for me, fighting for us
You’re letting him get the best of me
You’re letting him take me away
You’re telling me go,
When all i want to hear you say is “stay.”

i hate you for fucken putting me under this mess…i dont want to be your friend i dont ever want to talk to you ever again. i hate you.

i want my innocence back .

Click here if you’re awkward!

Something a boy said really got to me today … I kinda feel like staying in tonight .

You let me win, you let me ride, you let me rock,
you let me slide and when they looking,
you let me hide, defend my honor, protect my pride
The good advice, I always hated but looking back,
it made me greater

I want to be held. I want somebody to tell me that I am everything they need. I want a guy to whisper a funny joke in my ear during those times of awkward silence. I want a guy who will appreciate everything I do for him. I want a guy who has his own opinions, but still has the same basic morals as me. I want a guy that can respect me, as long as I am respecting myself. I want a guy to come to my house unplanned, and spend time with me. I want a guy that understands my humor. I want a guy that can fit me in his plans whenever I want to see him. I want a guy who actually knows how to carry himself in public. I want to drive for miles with him and just talk about life, talk about useless drama, talk about random things that most people wouldn’t have conversations about. I want him to want me, in everyway possible. I want him to treasure my body as if it were something he had never seen before. I want him to compliment me of course, without exaggerating the truth. I want a guy that can fight back, someone who will stand up for himself. I want a guy that knows what he wants in life and chases it. I want this kind of guy…..but not right now.
Maybe in time.

love when i put my status as ;

being a bitch doesn’t get you that far in life…

and about half the people that like it are bitches.

honestly.

So we were in front of my house. And he hugged me goodbye and kissed me on the cheek. But something inside of me just made me put my hand on the nape of his neck and kiss him. At first as I tried pulling him in, he hesitated, so i pushed myself forward a little more until he gave in and our lips met. We kept going and it just clicked. Every movement we made was in perfect symmetry. You knew just how to kiss me, your mouth still remembered how to fix itself to magically work in harmony with mine. I bit the bottom of your lip, like you always loved…and you pulled away and gasped. You said ” lets stop before we go any further”… You were right. So we said goodbye. I ran inside but…the first thing I did after I closed the door was cry. I cried because, it felt like I just got back from one of our dates. It felt like we just had our first kiss again. But then I started thinking about him. Him meaning the guy that I’ve been hooking up with for the past month. The guy that listens to me, the guy that loves me unconditionally, the guy that doesn’t just want sex out of me, the guy that helps me through everything. I ran upstairs and called him. Desperately in tears, I begged ” answer me …please…answer me . “….two more times I tried …And he didn’t answer. It killed me because I needed him. I needed him so badly. I had to tell him. Because I couldn’t hide this from him, I can’t hide anything from him. I care about him too much. I love him too much, and I cant stand how I keep going around kissing guys meanwhile he remains faithful to me. But Im just a selfish, sack of shit. When he cant give me what I need, I always find someone else that will and just end up making him feel like shit. But I promise , that I do not intentionally try to do that. If anything, I want him…and only him . He gives me everything that these other guys cant give me. Yeah sure my ex can kiss me and he knows my body probably better than most…but he can still provide me with something my ex cant….consideration. Yeah its alot of fucken work with him but I’m still here, I still want him and I’m not giving up.

My ex said he wants to “catch up” ….should I go for it or not?

I’m over liking him. It’s too much to deal with. I think its better off that way. Thinking that it could turn into something more was a stupid idea on my part. I care about him alot, but I know how I tend to put people I love before me and I just can’t do that to myself. Not at this time. I think I’m the worst person to date, I expect someones undivided attention at all hours. I am picky. I get aggravated when things don’t the way I planned. I hate..and I mean absolutely HATE when plans fall through. Its sucks that were such close friends because it makes it even harder to detach myself from you . It sucks because you know all my secrets, you know everything about me…and now I have a feeling in my gut that you would tell someone. It sucks because I’ll have to watch you flirt with these girls that are more perky and not as “confusing” as me. This week has been full of just tears, rumors, drama, overthinking shit, getting mad at you for things you can’t understand. I’d be sick of me already if I were him.